Marriage…is it meant to Last?
As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Ephesians 5:31
MARRIAGE IS SOOO FREAKIN HARD…
Marriage is hands down the most difficult quest one can take in this life. Most people are swept up in the emotions of the moment when they decide to enter into a lifelong decision with someone else. They feel like they just can’t get enough time with that special person. Off they go to the altar to pledge their complete devotion to that relationship before God and their friends and family.
I DID IT MY WAY…
Now I want to be clear here. I’m not speaking to Christians living a very devoted life in this blog. I’m speaking to all those like my wife and I who believed in God, believed Jesus was the way, the truth, and the light. But decided to do things our own way, rather than God’s way.
THE CRAZY TRAIN…
My wife and I spent nearly a quarter of a century jumping on and off the crazy train listening to all those who were flailing around in their own crazy pool. Eventually we spent more time on the train than off. To make a long story short we were inches away from a divorce by our 20th year of marriage. We admit now that the only thing that kept us together during those years was stubbornness and a business we couldn’t figure out how to get out of.
IN STEPS OUR HERO AND SAVIOR…
At our lowest point, where we were the most humble and God had our full attention, something amazing happened. I didn’t know at the time, but God was preparing my wife with a methodical witness of my oldest daughter. Fed up she decided to start attending church again, where she found her answers. This is also the time when the movie Fireproof had come out, and the Love Dare book. I’ll just say that by page 15 I was on my knees recommitting my life to Christ, and my beautiful bride.
THIS IS NOT THE END, BUT THE BEGINNING…
The world will tell you that’s the end. Fairy tale ending, we all live happily ever after…WRONG! For the next 9 years God has been teaching us some amazing things about relationships, especially about our marriage relationship.
1. Always, and I mean always put God first in your life. Your spouse is not equipped for that burden, and was never intended to have that weight on their shoulders.
2. Be fully committed, and let your spouse know that continuously (especially in the beginning).
This is simple when your spouse knows that your devotion is to God first. Serving God starts in the home. All of your mind, body, and spirit belongs to your spouse first, after God. -By the way guys, if your lady knows that your heart and MIND is all hers…look out! YOWZA!-
3. Forgiveness…forgiveness…forgiveness. Did I mention forgiveness?! Forgiveness isn’t the same thing as overlooking or ignoring. Speak up when something isn’t right, and give your spouse permission to come to you with things that before was off limits. Refer back to 1 and 2 when things get really tough.
4. Learn the differences in perspective. A man and woman see things differently. One of our favorite books is Love and Respect. In this book Dr. Eggerichs explains how men and women see things differently. One example is that men need respect first, then love. Women need love first, then respect. He compared it to water and food. You need water first, then food. You can’t do without either, but one takes priority over the other.
So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33
I wish I could tell you that this is a cake walk…but I can’t. Even after 9 determined years there is still so much to learn. But I will say that it is wholly worth the effort. God’s idea of marriage is what we were looking for all along. I hear people say all the time (including myself) What is God’s will for me? Well…a healthy and fruitful marriage IS God’s will! And when you get on the same page as God, amazing things will happen. It’s never too late. In today’s society, 29 years is a miracle and we look forward to glorifying God in our marriage.
IS MARRIAGE MEANT TO LAST…YES!!!
March 20, 2019
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